Maybe Later

It's hot and sunny in Sihanoukville. Life's good, I guess. Everything's perfect except my tired mind.
"Hey, sir, buy fruit today?"
"Maybe later."

For ten days and nights I did spend most of my time in my room, playing low-stakes big-field online poker tournaments (the PokerStars MicroMillions). It was uneventful, boring, sad and lonely. It halved my PokerStars account but I didn't even have anything significant on there to begin with. Nothing but a waste of time.
Winning?
Maybe later.

Sometimes I go for a run. Unfortunately, it's impossible to find a pair of decent running shoes in this town. In the end I bought fake Nikes, two sizes too small. They turn my feet into a painful mess. But I really like to run. So every time my feet are somewhat healed I squeeze into those small, crappy shoes and run, run, run for as long as I can. I'm still not sure if it's worth all the pain or not. On the other hand, there's no point in quitting until I reach a full conclusion.
Healthy exercise?
Maybe later.

In between recovering from all the wasted poker-time and nursing my painful feet, despair is quietly taking over… I love the palm trees and the sunny beaches. I just can't get rid of me. Just like home, there are times I struggle to get out of my room. Just like home, I only have about 1 friend here. Just like home, I still dream about a better life just around the corner…
Maybe later,
right?

The only thing I now for sure is that, in the end, I'll be driving that damned delivery van around Brussels again. I fail to see any other plausible way...
"Hey, man, you don't look happy. Want to smoke some weed?"
"Maybe later."

It's the height of the hot season now. The weather report states sunny weather all around with just a tiny chance of tropical depression.
A happy, fulfilling life?
Maybe later.